Comfortably Not Numb

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about this...

Over and over again, my clients tell me that they binge because they seek comfort through food. This is normal and natural; it’s something we’ve all done since emerging from the womb. As an adult who takes responsibility for her body, however, we learn to discriminate between our needs for physical comfort and the reduction of real hunger through eating, and our emotional needs for soothing through behavioural alternatives such as reaching out for connection with others, immersing oneself in warm water, or engaging in any number of pleasurable activities.

When you think about your needs and your history of using food for comfort, how has this evolved for you? It’s interesting how, for a binge eater, the initial impulse to comfort oneself with food suddenly shifts to a need to stuff oneself, thus making you extremely uncomfortable. Your great challenge is to find the point of true comfort and satisfaction, without falling down the slippery slope of bingeing.

What else brings you comfort, either internally or externally? For me, taking up a creative hobby helped a great deal toward my recovery. The feeling of yarn or fabric in my hands is soothing, as is wrapping myself in a blanket I’ve created. There’s something incredibly, spiritually, satisfying about the whole blanket experience for me, especially when I present a gift to someone I love.

It’s difficult to accept that recovery means giving up stuffing yourself on huge quantities of food. That is a unique experience. But you must admit that the comfort you seek through that behaviour is only experienced for a few initial moments when the binge begins – it’s downhill from there. Comfort can be achieved by giving yourself what you really want and need in the moment: three cookies, not thirty, or the compassionate shoulder of a good friend.

With Love,

Ellen

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