In Ed We Don't Trust

It was my pleasure to attend the Rocky Mountain Conference on Eating Disorders this past weekend in beautiful Denver, Colorado. I found the experience to be both illuminating and validating, as many of the latest, evidence-based treatment techniques are those that I have somewhat intuitively gravitated toward over the years. That feels good.

A comment made by one of the presenters, Carolyn Costin, a therapist who easily discloses that she recovered from an eating disorder, really resonated with me. She said: “Ultimately, I had to learn to trust others and reach out to them, not my eating disorder, when I was scared, or feeling anything I wanted to avoid.”

So true, and such a challenge.

Eating Disorders are largely disorders of trust. You trust that ONLY “Ed” will take care of your needs. You distrust yourself and your abilities to feed yourself in a healthy, sane manner. If your symptoms include anorexia, you think everyone who claims to love you wants you to lose control and gain weight. You don’t believe that your body gives you accurate information as to when and how much to eat. You can’t even trust your eyes. Fascinating new research on the brain’s insula reveals that in eating disorder patients, the ability to perceive the shape of their bodies accurately is impaired.

Revealing your true thoughts and feelings, and relying on the judgment of a trustworthy supporter while you get yourself together, are essential acts of faith that can be learned and practiced. Experiencing the body as something that can be trusted takes time and involves experimentation and risk.

Ed may be reliable in terms of his persistence, but he’s not trustworthy. Not for a moment. Trusting that Ed will give you what you need is like trusting the fox to guard the henhouse. Yeah, right.

Practicing trust gives you strength to move toward your authentic purpose: to live your life free from your eating disorder. Trust me, it works.

With Love,

Ellen

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