The Value of Thin

Dear Ellen:

You often mention that it is very important to connect with our values and use them to guide our actions. But I really value being thin - more than just about anything else I can think of, and everyone around me thinks this is a bad thing to value. Can you help me understand this so I can explain it to them?

E.N., North Vancouver

Dear E:

When I encourage living in accordance with what you truly value, I am referring to intrinsic rather than instrumental values.

Something is said to have intrinsic value if it is good ``in and of itself,'' i.e., not merely as a means for acquiring something else. Gratitude might be an example of an intrinsic value, because being grateful is good just because it's good to be grateful, not because being grateful leads to anything else. Something is said to have instrumental value if it is good because it provides the means for acquiring something else of value. Money is an instrumental value. Having money is good only to the extent that you can use it to get something else (something you might be grateful for having).

Thinness is also an instrumental value in that we are led to believe that thinness brings you other qualities we as a society find valuable. In other words, it’s not thinness, but what thinness represents that we find valuable: success, accomplishment, discipline, and control.

A question that philosophers pose to ascertain whether a quality has intrinsic or instrumental value is, “if you were stranded on a desert island, would this be of use to you?” Being smart, strong, and healthy would have much instrinsic value in this situation, but being thin is rather useless with no one around to validate its worth.

So, what is it that you’re trying to achieve through being thin? Do you want admiration and respect? How else can you channel your energy to garner this sort of validation? Do you value health? The pursuit of thinness, especially through unhealthy means such as bingeing and purging, certainly isn’t going to help you attain this value.

Your values are like your GPS as you navigate through life. As long as you are using them to guide your actions, you’re on the “right” path for you. Whenever you come to a crossroads, a place of decision-making, ask yourself “will this bring me closer to or further away from what I value?” Acting in accordance with your intrinsic values is the key to a rich and meaningful existence.

With Love,

Ellen

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