am i on the right path?

A few days ago, at the end of his session, a client asked me, "am i on the right path?"

I somewhat glibly replied, "all paths can be the right path." Let me explain. I know what it's like to be paralyzed with indecision, and frequently see people in my office who are struggling with the "I want to, but I don't want to" dilemma; psychological ambivalence is a most uncomfortable internal state, but may be necessary to effect lasting change. This particular client is wrestling with his image of himself as a husband and father, and is in the process of deciding whether to stay in a passionless marriage or break up the family and pursue a different life for himself. A very difficult decision indeed, and I certainly cannot advise him as to what he "should" do. Either course of action is going to have consequences for himself and the members of his family, but we cannot predict what those consequences will be.

We affect our destiny in the here and now. By making decisions to act in ways that allow us to feel good about ourselves and our behavior, we set ourselves on the right path. Those decisions will open some doors and close others; they will lead to new decisions which are presently unknown to us. We decide to act based on the limited information we have available to us right now, and then we will learn, hopefully, from the outcome of our action. If the result of our decision is positive, we will feel grateful, if not, then we acknowledge those consequences and try to take a next step that will allow us a better result. In doing so, it is important to limit negative self-statements such as "If only I had done this...," or "I should have known that..."  Trust me, that doesn't help things along.

You are the author of your story. You can't rewrite your history, but you are in the process of creating your future. In looking back, you need to know, without regret, that if your life could have been lived any other way, it would have been written so. When you are living your life as the person you want to be, you can be sure that you're on the right path.