i don't have time

Dear Ellen

You talk a lot about "being the person you want to be," but my schedule doesn't allow me to do anything other than study, work, and sleep. I'd like to exercise and socialize, but I don't have time. How am I supposed to feel better about myself?

T.S., Vancouver

Dear T.S.:

I hear what you're saying about being too busy to be able to do everything you want to do. It's often difficult to find a balance between work and leisure, taking care of others, and taking care of yourself. Frustration arises when we feel blocked toward reaching a goal, and this is the feeling that results from the thought "I have no time for me." There may be a way to integrate your activities or modify your expectations so that you feel better about the path you're on.

For example, I see you're a student who isn't getting enough exercise. Although it may not be an ideal workout, can you bring your reading to the gym and do it while sitting on a bike or stairclimbing? Can you get together with a classmate for a walking study session? That may satisfy some of your socializing needs as well.

Flexibility is important in a situation such as yours. If you insist on "perfect" study or exercise conditions, you may be missing out on numerous opportunities to utilize precious time more efficiently, and free some of it up to indulge other interests or hobbies.

I love to spend full days at my sewing machine working on one of the many quilting projects I have going at any given time, but I rarely have more than 10 minutes a few times a week to devote to it. But when I take those 10 minutes and put them toward doing this thing that I love to do, I find that eventually a project I'm proud of gets completed.

You're working and studying in order to change your life in a positive way, and that's great. Remember, whatever your current situation is, it's temporary. When you don't have to study any more, what will you do with all that time?

Your life is what you make it, so make it good -

With Love,

Ellen