I Drink, Therefore I...?

Dear Ellen:

I didn’t think I had a problem with alcohol, but now I think maybe I do. I’ve been doing better with bingeing and purging, but it seems that every time I go out drinking, I end up throwing up either because I’ve had too much to drink, or I lose control of my eating and binge. I try to plan for my party nights by eating less during the day so I can save my calories for my drinks. This probably isn’t a good idea, but I can’t seem to limit myself to one or two. Do I need to give up alcohol too?

Trying to be good –

G.C., North Vancouver

Dear G.C.:

Alcohol poses challenges for many individuals, especially those who have eating issues. I don’t think alcohol is a bad drug, but it can definitely be used badly. It sounds like you need to examine your relationship with it and ask yourself how it fits in your life during this early stage of your recovery.

Alcohol falls under the category of “depressant” drugs, which may seem illogical, as we tend to be more inclined to engage in social behaviours when we’ve imbibed. It makes sense, however, when you take into account that alcohol first dampens activity in those areas of the cortex that normally inhibit our behaviour. With those control centers less responsive to our internal commands, we are more likely to act on our impulses. Coupled with a shaky sense of commitment toward ending bingeing and purging, alcohol can certainly amplify the triggers of these unwanted behaviours, especially if you’ve had an emotional night, or if you’ve been restricting your food intake.

Your efforts to “save your calories during the day” is clearly contributing to your problem. Counting calories is a compulsion or habit that I encourage everyone I work with to immediately and completely stop. It is of the utmost importance that your nutritional needs are met throughout your waking hours. Substituting alcohol for food is simply not an option for recovery.

Drinking to get drunk, like bingeing and purging, is effective only as a temporary escape or avoidance of what’s present in your life. Have you thought about why you feel you need to drink as much as you do when you go out? What are you trying to accomplish? Who are you hoping to become through drinking? What do you like about this alter ego? What don’t you like about you?

I don’t necessarily believe in complete abstinence when it comes to alcohol; like with certain “treat” foods, you need to find a way to integrate it into your life in a way that is healthy and satisfying. If limiting your intake still poses a problem for you, then we’ll need to rethink our strategy.

Have fun and stay safe –