acceptance part I

Welcome all to 2011, dear readers!

I hope that you, like I am, are looking forward to a year of growth and adventure. I am not making any resolutions this year, but rather, have been thinking quite a bit about acting in accordance with the Serenity Prayer. According to Wikipedia (students take note – this is NOT a scholarly source!), the Serenity Prayer is the common name for an originally untitled prayer by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr. The prayer has been adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs. It is commonly known as the following:

God, grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

For many years, this prayer has been one of my favourite mantras that I mentally return to when life feels out of control. According to the principles of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), acceptance is a crucial component of healthy psychological functioning. What does this mean? Here are some ideas I gleaned from a recent DBT workshop:

Acceptance is acknowledging what is.

Freedom from suffering requires acceptance from deep within of what is.

Pain creates suffering only when you refuse to accept the pain.

To accept something is not the same as approving or judging it good.

Acceptance can only be applied to the present or the past, not the future.

Think about your life at this moment and your current struggles. Are they the result of non-acceptance? What are the thoughts and circumstances that cause you pain? Do you fight with and refuse to accept your natural size? Are there self-imposed rules that you cannot accept (examples – “I must never desire unhealthy food,” “I must never make mistakes”)? Are you refusing to accept aspects of your unchangeable past?

Today, now, you are who you are, with all your strengths, weaknesses, quirks, foibles, appetites,  issues, talents, history, and potential. Like it or not, your body is yours for today, your thoughts and feelings are yours to experience, and life is yours for acceptance.

With love,

Ellen

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