the list goes on

Dear Ellen:

I’m trying to keep myself organized and have started keeping a list of things I have to do. It’s driving me crazy! I can never seem to cross everything off of it. There are always more things to add to it. I never feel like I’m doing enough. Do you have any suggestions how I can deal with this?

Trying To Keep It Together, Vancouver

Dear TTKIT:

I know exactly how you feel! I admit to being a compulsive list-maker. I feel much more in control of my life when my “things to do” are put down on paper, and I reason that the habit will eventually serve me well when, hopefully not for a very long time, my short-term memory becomes problematic.  In my middle-aged present, there’s something very satisfying about seeing lines drawn through all the completed tasks, until it gets so messy that I need to create a new, clean page. My tendency then, is to add completely unnecessary items to this clean sheet, simply because now I have the space to put things such as “groceries” or “laundry.” Then, of course, it appears that I have a whole new catalogue of to-dos, and it looks like I haven’t yet accomplished anything. Is this organizational strategy absurd? Perhaps, but only if I allow myself to get anxious or overwhelmed by it.

I’ve learned that “the list” is a dynamic entity; to try and “finish” it is an exercise in futility. Furthermore, your self-worth cannot be dependent on how many items you’ve crossed off the list in a day or a week. You are far more than just a person who gets things done. The fact that you are a conscientious, goal-directed person is much more important than the number of lines you draw through your list items on a day-to-day basis.

I’ve written this before: you are a human being, not just a human doing. Thank you for your question and the reminder.

With love,

Ellen

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