Self-Control Part III

So, now that you understand some basic concepts about self-control, how do you go about getting better at it? In other words, how do you improve your chances of gaining access to that self-reflective part of your brain that can put the brakes on your unhealthy impulses? Here are “10 Tips to Increase Self-Control” courtesy of Hofmann and Friese:

  1. Become aware of the risks and long-term negative consequences of undesirable behaviour.

Educate yourself with regard to the potential physical problems associated with chronic dieting, laxative abuse, or other substances that affect your mind and body. Keep in mind, however, that scare tactics don’t help if you understand the risks but have no plan to act otherwise.

  1. Increase your personal engagement by, for example, telling friends about your goals.

If you don’t have anyone in your immediate environment to help you out in meeting your goals, check out www.stickk.com , which helps people achieve long-term goals of all kinds. Participants join at no cost, set a goal, establish a time frame, milestones, and a monetary wager that goes to a friend, enemy, or charity, in case they fail to meet their goal.

  1. Transform abstract overarching objectives into intermediate steps or milestones.

Instead of setting a goal to “be happy,” identify the behaviours or outcomes that you associate with personal satisfaction. Do you believe that getting more exercise will make you happy? Socializing with more (or fewer) people? Getting a different job? What are the steps you can take toward reaching those specific goals?

  1. Take pleasure in achieving partial successes and reaching intermediate milestones.

Long-term goals such as “run a marathon” or “recover from an eating disorder” are great, but if you wait to reward yourself for their achievement, you may be waiting a long time. These long-term goals are punctuated by smaller milestones – running a distance you’ve never done, going a specific length of time without bingeing or purging, etc. Congratulate and reward yourself along the way to keep up your morale and motivation.

  1. Formulate “if then” resolutions to deal with critical situations.

Example:  Say you’re anxious about a party you will be attending and all the eating or drinking that will entail. You can say to yourself something like, “If I overeat, then I will not turn it into a full-fledged binge, or, “If they are serving martinis, then I will have a glass of water as well.” Instead of telling yourself what you won’t do, visualize and commit to what you will do.

  1. Replace old bad habits with new good ones.

Easy to say, hard to do. Some say a new habit is established with 10,000 hours of practice. Some say it takes 90 days to establish a new behavioural pattern. I’m not sure how much science is behind either of these claims. What’s most important is that you make some effort to do things differently, since your old habit isn’t serving you well. As Rita Mae Brown said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over again, and expecting different results.”

  1. Change your impulses by learning to associate the mere sight of temptations with negative stimuli.

This is an old behavioural strategy otherwise known as “aversion therapy.” I’m not keen on it for eating-related behaviours, but it can be useful in some instances. For example, when my mother quit smoking through a group called “SmokeEnders,” when she smoked a cigarette, she would put it out in a jar filled with an inch of water. Before she lit up her next cigarette, she had to open the jar and give it a good sniff. Disgusting, right? Each cigarette she smoked made that jar more and more vile. The idea is to associate smoking with an aversive stimulus. My mom’s been nicotine-free for 34 years.

  1. Identify situations that pose a particular risk and avoid them as much as possible.

Personally, I don’t agree with this suggested self-control strategy. I think avoidance tends to strengthen phobic responses and reinforces the idea that you can’t handle these situations when, in fact, you can.

  1. Train your working memory.

Working memory allows us to focus our attention on our aim; we can keep our goal in mind as we carry out tasks and cope with our feelings.  When you’re feeling uncomfortable or anxious about resisting an impulse, working memory allows you to “keep your eye on the prize.”

  1. Plan enough breaks and relaxation periods to prevent depletion of your mental resources.

Remember that when you’re tired, pressured by deadlines or other obligations, or under unusual stress, you have fewer resources to draw on to help you maintain your focus on your goals. During these periods of vulnerability, it’s important to treat yourself kindly and make self-care a priority.

 

This is my final submission on self-control. I hope you’ve learned some good strategies to help keep you on the path toward recovery or the attainment of a goal you’ve set for yourself.

Now, how about those Canucks!?!?!

With love,

Ellen

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