you reap what you sow

I just had the best birthday celebration ever. Hands down. To usher in the new decade, the festivities lasted an entire week and culminated in a full day of fun with 11 of my upper-echelon women friends whom I’ve known between six years and my whole life. I love them all so dearly – they are all sisters to me. In terms of relationships, I’m a one-on-one kind of person, so my friends  represent various facets of my life, and are connected to one another only through me. Seeing these unique, talented, accomplished, generous, beautiful women all around one table was overwhelmingly emotional.

I must add here that the greatest husband on the planet organized the whole event for me. He can only be described as a spectacular man. Seriously.

So, as you can tell, I’m floating in this Glinda-bubble of love and gratitude, and I can’t help but ask myself, how did I get so lucky?

Maybe luck didn’t have everything to do with it, though.

There’s an old saying, “you reap what you sow.” If there’s truth to that adage, then I’ve earned these friendships. I’d like to believe this is true.  I haven’t always been able to be a good friend, however.  In the throes of an eating disorder, it’s impossible to nurture one’s self, let alone a friendship: to be authentic , present, and to offer companionship, compassion, undivided attention. Until you feel you deserve these things yourself, you cannot give them to others. You can only love to the extent that you feel lovable. It took me many years to learn this vitally important lesson thanks to some patient, persistent, wise soul-searchers, who looked beyond my symptoms and scrawniness, and wanted to get to know the me inside.

Am I bragging about myself, then, when I say that the quality of my friendships today is first-class, five-star, second to none? Perhaps. But I’m also bragging about my friends. They’ve earned it too.

To make a friend, be a friend.

With love,

Ellen

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